So the plan is that the two of you are going to make sex new, exciting, and maintain and you will create an endless sense of adventure? On the other hand, maybe sex is so great now you’ll never need to change it? Well, that will work—until it doesn’t. Cynics will say, “ Forget it. Impossible! Monogamy is a social construct doomed to failure” Romantics will say, “Love conquers all. Don’t worry about it. It will all work out.” Realists will say, “ Damn. This isn’t going to be easy, but we have to find a way to make it work” Keeping sexual excitement alive is indeed work. If you think it’s not, you just haven’t been together long enough. How do you keep the flame of passion burning brightly AND maintain a sense of safety and security? After all, didn’t that flame burn most intensely when daring, risk, and maybe a little danger was involved (come on, wasn’t there at least some vulnerability at play in the beginning of your relationship )?
Spontaneity and seduction can be lost in the face of the need to incorporate the structure and effort imposed by the responsibilities and stress of everyday life. There’s no quick and easy answer to balancing passion and safety, but there are answers—and you had best find them if you want to keep romance and great sex alive in a long and lasting relationship. It begins with a commitment, a plan, and the discipline to keep working at it. It gets easier and you get better at it with practice. Why should it be any different that anything else of value in your life?
Visit my Website: https://pathwaystointimacy.com/ After 30 years of practicing relationship and sex therapy I’ve seen successes and failures. Success is better.