Blogs

Anything missing in your relationship?

Anything missing in your relationship?

Longing for excitement, adventures, or change in your life This used to be a common issue between the more introverted and content partner and the more extroverted and impetuous partner. These days.....its just about all of us. As we do our part to protect our health,...

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We just need to work on our communication

We just need to work on our communication

That's something I hear from the majority of people who call for couple's therapy. Sometimes that is all that needs to be attended to (sometimes not). The healing process usually requires : 1. understanding the core communication issues--control, conflict avoidance,...

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BBB= BIG BEAUTIFUL BOUNDARIES

BBB= BIG BEAUTIFUL BOUNDARIES

Literally, in the bedroom—dogs, children, and technology are the main external “excuses” I hear for lack of intimacy. Metaphorically, the attitudes and behaviors of one or both partners parents, cultural and religious taboos, past sexual experiences (particularly...

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Its the Hap Hap Happiest time of the Year!

Its the Hap Hap Happiest time of the Year!

So, how’s that quarantined, hunkered down, “stay-at-home” Christmas Season going? After 10 months of unprecedented togetherness what would you say about your relationship? (oh, yeah, and how’s that home schooling going?) This has been a trying time to be sure. For...

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Erasing the Fault Line in Your Relationship

Erasing the Fault Line in Your Relationship

When the house is on fire and your loved ones are inside, no one asks: “How did the fire start?”. Relationships will always encounter problems. The first step is often to assign blame—accuse—and to determine who’s “fault” the problem is. A better way to begin is to...

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Keeping romantic intimacy alive

Keeping romantic intimacy alive

So the plan is that the two of you are going to make sex new, exciting, and maintain and you will create an endless sense of adventure? On the other hand, maybe sex is so great now you’ll never need to change it? Well, that will work—until it doesn’t. Cynics will say,...

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I shouldn’t have to ask. They should just “know”

I shouldn’t have to ask. They should just “know”

“My partner never initiates.” or “My partner always initiates”. Those are very commonly heard complaints when I talk with couples individually (before I meet with them together). Next to frequency, initiation techniques are at the top of the list of problems for...

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Power and Control

Power and Control

If I asked you “Who has the most power in your relationship?”, what would you say? (to me, not to your partner) Some couples both say “I do”. Some point to each other. Some say “both” (rarely true).Healthiest answer can be “ It depends”—meaning both...

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The One Year Anniversary of.. Non-Stop Togetherness

The One Year Anniversary of.. Non-Stop Togetherness

More than 300 days of pressurized relationships-- how is your's doing these days?Have you found yourself inexplicably irritable? Easily frustrated? Occasionally depressed for "no reason"? Are there days when your partner is picking away at your last nerve? Disasters...

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Its “Social Distancing”, NOT Relationship Distancing

Its “Social Distancing”, NOT Relationship Distancing

One of the most frequent comments I hear these days is: “I’ll bet your practice is really busy with all these couples stuck in the house with each other.”Because my practice focuses on relationships, I do have a front row seat to what is going on for many...

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